


Rooftop

by bestofbucky



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:28:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29428137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestofbucky/pseuds/bestofbucky
Summary: You confess your feelings for Bucky but he doesn't feel the same. What happens when he sees you getting close with Loki a few months later.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Loki & Reader, Loki/Reader
Kudos: 55





	Rooftop

Looking out at the skyline of New York City you sighed. This was your favourite thing about living at the tower. You found yourself coming up to the roof a lot. When you wanted to get away from the constant movement and excitement of your life, you would find a moment of stillness here, you especially loved it at sunset and sunrise.

The rest of the Avengers all knew this was your special place, they wouldn’t bother you when you’re up here because they know how much it helps you. This time is different though. You had asked Bucky to meet you up here at sunset, hoping the environment around you would soothe your nerves. It seemed to be working, but then again Bucky hadn’t arrived yet.

It was as if he heard you thinking about him because not two seconds later, the metal door was opening and he stepped out.

He was wearing grey sweatpants and a white shirt that his muscles were threatening to rip apart. The warm glow off the sun on his skin, making him look ethereal, like a god sent down from the heavens above.

He searched around for you, his eyes finally meeting with yours. His smile grew wider and his eyebrows raised as he made his way over to you. Finally getting to you he pulls you into a hug. You happily accept, breathing in his scent hoping it will calm you like it normally does but it has the opposite effect.

Your mind goes into overdrive and you suddenly regret asking him up here. What if he doesn’t feel the same? What if you misread all the loving touches and subtle glances? What if you confess your feelings and you end up losing him forever?

“Doll?” Bucky’s voice draws you out of your head. “Everything ok? You seem tense.”

You look up at him, he has a concerned look on his face. Taking a deep breath you nod.

“I’m fine Bucky, just a little nervous.” You explain but it only seems to confuse him more.

“Nervous for what?” He asks and you suddenly find great interest in the floor. Memories of time you have spent with Bucky come flooding into your mind. Movie nights where you two always sit together, whether there is room for you both or not. Mornings when Bucky will have your favourite breakfast prepared for when you wake up. Sparring together but ending up rolling around the mats in a tickle fight instead of a fist fight. You push it all aside and take a deep breath.

“I asked you up here for a reason.” You tell him. His eyes catch the sunlight and you are mesmerised. You remember the first time you noticed his eye colour. You’d had a nightmare and went to Bucky’s room hoping he could help you. He held you, telling you stories from his childhood, the rhythm of his voice soothing you off to sleep. You had woken up in his arms, feeling safer than ever before. The sunlight streamed in through the windows and when Bucky had opened his eyes, they were striking, you had wondered how you’d never noticed the colour before. It was in that moment you realised you had fallen for Bucky.

Two months later brought you here, in front of Bucky, on the roof, finally having the courage to confess your feelings.

“I asked you up here, to tell you that I love you.” You hold your breath waiting for his response but nothing comes. He stands there, completely silent. You can’t read the expression on his face but it looks close to one of fear.

“Please say something.” Your voice comes out barely above a whisper but you know he heard you. Finally he breaks the silence.

“I’m sorry doll,” he is looking everywhere except you. “I just don’t feel the same.”

Ouch. Like a punch to the gut suddenly all your worst fears seem to have come true. You try hard to stop the tears from forming in your eyes but it’s useless. Bucky still won’t look at you and it’s driving you mad.

“Look at me Bucky.” You try but it is like talking to a wall, he has closed off and there is no getting through to him. You can’t believe it. You don’t believe it. So you try one last time.

“Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me.” Your voice is weak from focusing your energy on trying to not cry. This is your attempt at a last resort, hoping he is just scared, that you didn’t misread the situation and he does love you back.

He sighs and looks at you finally. “I don’t love you, not like that. We are friends doll, nothing more.” His once calm blue eyes were now icy and uninviting. You feel like such an idiot for thinking your feelings would be reciprocated. Why would anyone as good as Bucky love someone like you.

You nod finally able to speak, “I think you should go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3 Months Later

You haven’t been up to the rooftop since that evening. Every time you tried you felt the same pain in your chest you had felt that day, when he told you he didn’t love you. That day changed you, your walls went up and no one was allowed close enough to try and knock them down.

Bucky tried to stay friends, he would still save you a space for movie night, he would still make your breakfast for you. So you stopped going to movie night, and started getting up earlier than him. It was too painful to have him at such a close distance but still out of reach.

Then, a month ago, Loki came to stay at the tower. You had met him a few times before but they were just passing moments. This time you had bumped into him on one of your ‘I can’t sleep’ walks. He thought it would be funny to get inside your mind. Although he quickly realised it was the opposite. Still, he took it upon himself to cheer you up and help you move on from Bucky.

Apart from when he got inside your head without your permission, you liked spending time with Loki. He is funny and charming and most of the time he helps you get your mind off a certain super soldier.

It’s movie night tonight. Loki told you he was going to save you a seat. Which is why you are currently standing by your door, wondering whether you should go or not. You really miss spending time with everyone, you just don’t know if you are ready to be in close proximity to Bucky.

Fuck it. You would have Loki as your support blanket, you know he would be there for you if anything happened. You took a deep breath and with shaky hands opened the door, making your way to the movie room.

Bucky always made sure he was the first in the movie room on movie night. He held out hope that one day you would decide to join everyone again and when that day came the spot next to him would be saved just for you.

So when he saw you walk through the door and scan the room for a seat he got so excited, this would be the start of your friendship again. This would be the thing to bring you back together and heal the wounds of your broken relationship.

But then your eyes landed on someone that wasn’t him, they brightened the way they used to for him. You made your way over and sat down next to Loki. He immediately wrapped his arm around you pulling you into his side, just like Bucky used to do.

He couldn’t take his eyes off the two of you, he hated how easily Loki could make you laugh, how comfortable you were around him. He hated that Loki was allowed to be near you but he had practically been banished, forced to watch from a distance.

He couldn’t take it any longer, he stood up and stormed out the room, ignoring the calls of his name. Everything Bucky had hoped would happen when he lied and told you he didn’t love you has happened. You are safe, protected from him, happy without him, but it was killing him.

Somehow he found himself on the rooftop. He had been doing that a lot lately, it reminded him of you. The angelic beauty of the New York Skyline. The serenity that allowed his mind moments of calm. It allowed him to get lost in thoughts and visions of you. The only place he could spend time with you was in his head and the rooftop allowed those visions to come easier.

The sound of metal creaking causes his head to shoot towards the now open door where you step out onto the roof. You look around for him, finding him standing by the wall already looking at you.

You walk over and stand next to him, eyes looking ahead at the city that never sleeps. Bucky has to fight the urge to pull you closer, removing the gap between you but it’s too big, too much has happened. Even though you are physically close to him, mentally you are further away than ever.

“I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.” You speak, it’s a sound Bucky knew was a luxury to hear.

“I’m fine doll. Go back and enjoy the movie.” His voice is emotionless but you have missed it nonetheless.

“Why do you do that? Why do you call me doll if we are only friends?” You suddenly feel yourself getting angry, you didn’t misread the situation between you and Bucky, he was the one that led you on.

“Are we even friends?” Bucky laughs but it is still void of any emotion.

“Answer the question.” You growl, showing how serious you are.

“It’s just a nickname.” He brushes off but you still aren’t happy with his answer.

“You don’t call anyone else doll. In fact, you don’t have nicknames like that for anyone. Just me.” You turn to face him but he is still looking ahead.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” He huffs.

“I want you to tell me the truth.” You are shouting now, you can’t help it, you are just so frustrated with him. “I want you to tell me why you call me doll and no one else!” He doesn’t speak so you continue. “I want you to tell me why you stormed out just now!” Still no answer. “I want you to tell me why three months ago you looked me in the eye and lied to me!”

That gets his attention. He turns to you quickly, his eyes wide in shock, scanning your face. “I-I didn’t lie to you.” The same look crosses his face as it did three months ago. That look answers your questions without him even having to speak. He was scared, he probably wanted to protect you. You sigh and go to walk away but he grabs your wrist, turning you back around to face him.

“I didn’t lie to you.” He says again, this time with more conviction. You can’t believe he is still too much of a coward to tell the truth.

“Fuck you Bucky.” You know he is lying to you and you hate him for it. You pull your wrist from his grip and stride over to the door but before you can open it a hand on your shoulder is turning you around. Desperation is clear on Bucky’s face as he hurriedly places his hands on either side of your face and presses his lips to yours. It’s eager and it’s bruising but it’s over all too quickly.

He pulls away, his hands still cupping your face, afraid that if he lets go he will lose you.

“Kiss me again.” Your voice comes out in a hoarse whisper. “Please.”

He leans in slowly this time and gently kisses you. He pours everything he has into the kiss and you feel it, you feel his passion, you feel his hunger and most importantly you feel his love. Your lips move fluidly together as he guides you backwards to rest against the door. The cold metal on your skin makes you gasp and Bucky uses this as an opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth.

Pulling away breathless he rests his forehead on yours, neither one of you ready to open your eyes just yet. When you finally do pull away you are met by those gorgeous blue eyes that you fell in love with and you can’t stop the smile from forming on your lips.

“I love you doll.” He whispers before leaning in again, closing the gap between you and crumbling your walls completely.

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on tumblr username is the same @bestofbucky :)


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